You’ve become completely unfiltered this week – you’ve become me, so claimed G with a chuckle. Really? Has it become that bad?
Everyone goes through busy times, whether it’s new projects, clients, colleagues at work or planning events, renovating and making big purchases – or maybe all of the above. That combo caused a friend’s until then dormant Crohn’s disease to flair up. Some combination of that plus high pollen levels in DC seems to have clogged my social filter.
Monday, I asked a good friend – politely I hope – to not serve me food when we ate out. I know that sometimes couples will do that, and that’s fine if that’s what they like. I’m sure it’s also because G has an aversion to sharing, so we tend to keep our utensils to ourselves. Somehow having a friend spoon food onto my plate … He, at least laughed about it, mocking my weirdness.
The other night I asked our designer and friend to “please not do that” when she poured faux sympathy on me:
Friend: Are you oh-kay? Poor thing, you’re working so hard…
Me: Keep smiling, even though that tone and dripping concern is already setting my teeth on edge.
She continues the cooing and then here comes the kicker:
Friend: How’s your mom?
Really? What’s the connection there? I’m probably overly sensitive to that because I also had an assistant that used to do that – how arrreee you? are you oh-kay? How’s your dog?
Maybe that fake concern is only something women do to each other – the overdone concern that really just emphasizes how shitty things are for you or how tired you look/feel, followed by a personal question that’s supposed to show how much they care about your life. Normally, I just smile and thank them, move the conversation on. But clogged filter and all:
Me: Please don’t do that. I’m fine. I just need to get through this, and I don’t like to be asked about it. I just like to be left alone to do what I have to.
Then I walked into the other room and left G to deal with her.
I should have felt guilty, and maybe I do a tiny bit this morning. But really, I feel liberated. Perhaps being filterless every now and then is not a bad thing!